Learning

I've been learning a lot about myself lately. Since house sitting, I've learned that I really enjoy living on my own. Of course, I don't have to pay the bills or fix anything, and I have to go back home in a few days, but I like the time I've had to myself. I admit, I have become a bit reclusive, but I've made efforts to hang out with others. I went up to Bethel with Jessica one Friday, spent time with Dan & Jessie and Regan, hung out with my family a bit, and had supper with Carmen & Daune a couple times. I've also read four books in the past two weeks. Three of them were over 300 pages. I've had a lot of quiet time, as you can tell. I love this house so much! For the first week, I could be found mainly in the sunroom, reading. Actually, most of the second week too. I watched a few movies, ate some good foods, and got annoyed at the partying neighbours. Thankfully, there were only two parties, and I fell asleep while they were still going. I'm not even allergic to Spaz! Which is good, because he's a really nice cat, but he needs to learn how to retract his claws. Plus, he looks so cute sleeping in my suitcase.

Another thing I've been learning, is I need a lot more patience. In my job, my goals, my life. I'm a pretty laid back person, but when I find something I want, and can't have right away, I get a bit antsy. Okay, a lot antsy. Like, a husband for instance. I know that God has someone already picked out and is preparing him, but it's so hard not knowing who he is. I do enjoy being single though. Not that I've been unsingle in a long time. I just want what I'm sure, almost, every girl wants. To be delighted in. To be cuddled, hugged, praised, encouraged, fought for, included.

A lesson I have to learn before the husband part can come is to delight myself in the Lord. I can't just get a guy and expect him to be everything I need. It's not fair or right. That's a job that no man, save Jesus, can do for me. I need to fall in love with Jesus, and let him show me how to love myself, before I can give myself and my love to another. This is much easier said than done. I'd love to blame it all on Satan, but that'd be giving him too much credit. Much of the blame lies with me being lazy and undisciplined. I've stopped spending time in the Word, don't do devotions, and basically only get pumped up in church or when I hear a really good song. So, now that I know what I'm doing wrong, how am I going to change it? I'd love to say, "I'm going to spend an hour reading the Bible everyday" or "I'm going to be a better Christian", but those I've tried and quit before. Here's my plan: I have at least one day off every week. I'm going to try and turn it into a Day In. A day in the Word, in the presence of God, in love with God. I'll probably start off small, so as not to get discouraged. Like, maybe not a whole day, but an hour or two. Who knows, maybe I'll fall head over heels on the first day and not want to stop? I'm sure this is going to be a battle, and would appreciate prayer and accountability.

Well, those are a few things I've been learning about myself. I've got a pretty good Teacher, I'd say.