Saturday, September 30, 2006

Dione On A Blog

Here's the link to Dione's blog: I helped her make it. :)

Check it out. Do it. I dare you to. Go on. You know you want to. Are you doing it yet? No? Why not!? DO IT! It's Dione! On a blog! Ok. GO. haha like the band. And Go.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Blind Dates And Coffee Cups

Here she sits at a table for two
eyes open, yet unseeing of the beauty around her
People pass by,
sights and sounds are unoticed and forgotten

I watch her play with the handle
of a cup of warm liquid
Ignoring the contents,
she is more fascinated
with the vessel

Wondering what it is on her mind
that could bring such intense concentration
I, myself, sit and stare,
unaware of the very act

She checks her watch,
breaking her personal reverie
A look passes across her face;
I know not whether it is disappointment,
or resignation

A moment passes and as she rises to leave,
she looks at me and gives a smile;
A smile with beauty I've yet to see challenged

Here I sit at a table for two
thinking of the girl who was waiting
for me.

To clear up confusion...this was written from a guy's point of veiw. In the words of Robin "I'm not a lesbian you guys!"

Friday, September 22, 2006

Magnificent Obsession by Steven Curtis Chapman

Lord, You know how much
I wanna know so much
In the way of answers
And explanation
I have cried and prayed,
And still I seem to stay
In the middle of life's complications
All this pursuing
Leaves me feelin' like
I'm chasin' down the wind
But now it's brought me back to You
And I can see again

This is everything I want,
This is everything I need
I want this to be my one
Consuming passion
Everything my heart desires
Lord, I want it all to be for You,
Be my magnificent obsession
Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah

So capture my heart again,
Take me to depths I've never been
Into the riches of Your grace and Your mercy
Return me to the cross,
And let me be completely lost
In the wonder of the love
That You've shown me

Cut through these chains that tie me down
To so many lesser things,
Let all my dreams fall to the ground
Until this one remains

This is everything I want,
This is everything I need
I want this to be my one
Consuming passion
Everything my heart desires
Lord, I want it all to be for You,
Be my magnificent obsession

My magnificent obsession
Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah

You are everything I want
And You are everything I need
Lord, You are all my heart desires,
You are everything to me

You are everything I want,
You are everything I need
I want You to be my one
Consuming passion
Everything my heart desires
Lord, I want it all to be for You,
I want it all to be for You
'Cause You are everything I want,
You are everything I need
I want You to be my one
Consuming passion
Everything my heart desires
Lord, I want it all to be for You,
Be my magnificent obsession
Be my magnificent obsession
Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh-oh, oh, oh

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Only For You

This is a poem
and it is only for you
to show you that
my love is true

It's not for the rest
just only for you
I'm telling you now
that you are the best

You are more beautiful
than any simple flower
If you don't believe me
just give me an hour

Spend time in His Word
and seek His face
When battles are hard
together we'll finish the race

I write this for you
my sister through love
I pray that some day
we'll both find love that is true.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

And Many More

Not one more year
Just one more day
One more day of being

Not one more smile
Just one more mask
One more mask that hides

How have I changed
If at all stayed the same
From a calendar ago
To now
Since then?

What is the use
Of this vicious cycle
That leaves in its wake
Wisdom and

Not one more year
Just three hundred sixty-five
Days of memory

Not one more smile
Just one more tear
Hidden and brushed away

How will I change
If not stay the same?
I pray it won't be so

What use will I be
In the cycle of other's lives
Will I gain from them

Not one more year
Just one more day
One more day
Filled with

As I reflect on this year, the trials and triumphs, I realize that I need to give God praise until there is no longer breath in my body; even then I will praise Him with the angels! My prayer for this year is that my life will be worthy of the calling that I've received.

Ephesians 4:1-6 (NIV)
1As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Day With The Fam

So I spent the day with my family and the Krumrei's (Ryan's in-laws). We all had lunch at the golf course and then everyone, minus Tim & Clare, went out to the cabin Dwayne's building for his cousin. I've never been there and was quite amazed at how huge it is. I got a bit dizzy looking up at the ceilings (23' high!) and enjoyed going on the roof/balcony. Jonathan and Caleb built a "fort" in one of the rooms downstairs and wanted me to come see it. The let me in and said it was only for 7-20 year old people. I thought it was sweet how excited they were to include me. I miss having fun with those boys, even when they're too noisy or repetitive.
We were out side and the lake was really calm so I got mom to talk a picture of me by a tree.
Then we all headed over to Bethel for supper. I walked with the boys, they enjoyed it and I enjoyed their company. We beat almost everyone there, except Dwayne, who took a short cut (cheater, haha). We all had to wait for the two old geezers who also decided to walk. It was so weird being up there again without any campers or friends/co counselors. We ate, took pictures as we fed Whiskey Jacks and a frisky squirrel, and started to pack everything up.

Mom took a picture of Gerry and Talita and I just had to get a picture of
me against the autumnal canoes. I love the changing colors of the leaves! God's nature is so amazing. Its the best backdrop for any photo. Now we're home and I'll be back at work tomorrow (yay...). I got a little bit discouraged on Friday, but I'm sure things will work themselves out eventually; I've just got to stick to it. I've got more at stake than proving to my dad I can handle responsibility. I need to get out of here. Anyways, I had a good day today. I didn't do anything I planned to do this weekend, but I did read more of my book. I'm such a nerd. Oh well. Food for thought I guess. I should do laundry so that I have clothes to wear this week. Otherwise I might have to get up early tomorrow morning and do it (oh no! not morning!).

Thursday, September 07, 2006

You Gave Me New Life

You asked me if I would
give You my heart
I held it tight and asked
what's in it for me?

You told me in exchange
I would gain life
All I had to do was follow
and trust in You

You said it wouldn't be easy
but well worth the pain
I knew what You said was true
and gave you my heart

You called me Beloved Child
and showed me joy
I expected to be hurt again
but wasn't because You are Love

I Gave You My Heart

You asked if you could
borrow my heart
I placed it in your hands
No strings attached

You took that heart
and placed it next to yours
Until their love pumped together
Making us one

You began to not show
any more interest
The love-flow weakened
Pain filled my heart

You gave my heart back
broken, bruised and weak
I looked through teary eyes wondering,
why did I ever trust you?

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

That's A Pickle...

So, there's this thing called money. It has many purposes: further economy, gain possessions, create opportunities to travel, ensure a better seat at restaraunts, still wagging lips, make bad things disappear. It must be good if it can do all that right? I have trouble believing that. The pickle part is, I need money to get to Jerusalem and I really don't like having money. I'm afraid of having so much in my wallet (need to deposit it tomorrow) or even in my bank account. I buy so many unneccesary things when I know I have the funds to do so. Or I just nickle & dime it away. There are three or four things I do need, no matter what. They are glasses ($300 or so), passport ($80-100 I think), work visa (no clue) and I forgot the other one...mustn't have been too important. I'm also finding that having a driver's liscence would be a great asset so I don't have to taxi home at night and mom won't worry about me walking home. Thing is, I don't want to drive. I'm not afraid to, I just don't see the need. Sure, I'm uncomfortable riding in taxi's, though I've never done it, I'll surely get used to it. Besides, carpooling is better for the environment anyways. Even though I'm not that one blew up in my face. Wow I just checked airline prices; it's gone up $600 since the last time I checked. $2412, from Stoon to Tel Aviv on Northwest Air. That's leaving in January and returning in July (longest time the site would allow). I don't know when I'm going, so don't take January as a set in stone date. Air Canada's flight (I just messed around and clicked a few things) is only $2347.94; not much of a difference but it's better. Anyways, this has all got me a bit overwhelmed. In short, I don't like money and the pressure it puts on me. All I know is that I want to get out before the next blow up. Although those odds get slimmer every day...

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Just a Rant

Wow, I really can't wait to leave this house! Don't mind me, its probably just the little sleep talking, but I need to get this out. If I'm not getting the third degree 20 billion questions, I'm being treated like a freakin retard. How can a person ever excell if they aren't expected to, rather expected to keep doing worse. This expectation of failure is just a set up so that he can point out yet another of my mistakes. When I find something I enjoy doing, its never good enough. Maybe there is always something better out there, but when you find something good and satisfying, wouldn't it make sense to hold on to it? What irks me the most is in almost all conversations that he's trying to gather information from me, he already knows what he needs to know. So why must I waste breath and effort? Why can't I just move on. I've been trying so hard! Just let me go, let me live, let me breathe. Talking is becoming so futile; if I'm not telling you what you want to hear, you're only hearing what you want to. How can everyone else say that I have to love and respect you when you give me no reason to, only many reasons not to? Probably the dumbest part of this whole thing is I'm only hurting myself. You probably don't even notice, you're always in your own little world. I don't know why I didn't get a job sooner, its one more thing that gets me away from you. I wonder if you've ever noticed, that everywhere I've applied, are places you never or rarely go to.

Anyways, that was my rant. And my 50th post...I'm catching up Robin. Haha.