Thursday, October 19, 2006

Finally catching up.

Oh where to begin? Let's back up to...last week I guess. I went on an extreme emotional rollercoaster in the timespace of about two days. On Wednesday, I was on my lunch break and sitting by myself when I realized that it was my Grampa's birthday. Or, at least it would've been, but he's been dead for over a year. That bummed me out. Then, after work I went to aerobic kick boxing with Nicole and Eryn and then swimming with them, Lana and Jen Fry. My endorphins were so through the roof. Other than the screaming pain in my quads and abs from being out of shape, I was in a great mood. We all, except Jen, slept over at Eryn's. It was real good times. I got up real early to get to work and had a pretty normal day. All was going well until Tiff called Diny at work. I was holding/just finished feeding baby Jordan and didn't tune in to the convo until Diny said, "Oh no, she did?" I looked up and she said, "Shantelle died this morning. Needless to say, I got up and held on to Diny for support as I cried, still holding Jordan, who was laughing at my tears. After talking with Diny for a bit, I went on a 15 min break. I went to the Door to talk to my mom and see if she knew. I walked around the corner and saw Jennifer walking away. I told mom to call her, cause I could hardly talk, and she turned around and we walked to each other and cried together. Apparently, Chester had come to the Door around 2:30, by now it was about 3:15 or so, and told people about Shantelle. My mom didn't want me to know, because she knew it would finish my day. I cried for a bit, then had to go back to work. I think I just pushed it aside, it hadn't really sunk in yet. I went home, had supper, looked at her blog, and went to Jr Youth. That was hard. I was so out of it and really didn't want to deal with loud bratty kids. (And yet I work in a daycare). So that was my weird week/couple days. I was really sad, really REALLY happy, and then really really sad again.

That was Thursday, I had to figure out a way to get to S'toon for Shantelle's Funeral on Monday. Jenn & Dwayne said I could go with them. So I did. It was a really nice funeral. I didn't plan on crying, I put make-up on to ensure this, but it didn't work out. I bawled. There were moments when I wanted to hold Darren's hand (I was sitting next to him), but I got through it alone.

I'm sure there was more I wanted to write about, but in the process and procrastination/busy life, I've forgotten it. Oh yeah, yesterday I fainted at the hospital after getting TB testing. I didn't faint because of the needle, but because I had waited too long between meals. Plus my cold/flu added to it all I'm sure. When I got back to work I was playing with the kids and had two on my lap in a chair. One got down, and wanted to get up again. She really stunk, and she had just pooped. What I didn't realize right away was that I was her target. And she hit her mark. I got pooped on. Sick! I felt really gross for the rest of my shift. But then I went to youth group and watched Ernest Saves Christmas (funny times) and found a letter from Dione in my box. I would've cried, but had to go back up. Meh, its ok. I still felt the emotions. Thanks Dione, it meant a lot and I really needed to hear those words at that moment. Anyways, I need to do laundry and sleep. And check other internet stuff. Like my Myspace...haha I got suckered in to it. Check it out! www.myspace.com/froanna so original eh?

PS One of my favorite parts of the S'toon trip was on Sunday night when we were all in bed at the hotel and said good night. We (Jenn, Dwayne and I) all said, "Goodnight _____ I love you". And for once I knew that we all really meant it. I know we don't say I love you a lot in my family, but it is nice to hear it once in awhile. So family: I love you! and Good night.

1 comment:

Child of the King said...

Hey jo, Your welcome and it's good to hear that even though things are hard at times that you are still going on.
Love D