It all started on Wednesday night: After the NBI thing (which I didn't really enjoy, not in the right mood I guess), Robin and I took off to Andrew's, only to find he and Carrie were gone but would be back soon. So we waited there, in his house, alone. It was kinda funny actually. Then they came and Robin's mom freaked out on MSN and we were all scared that she was gonna come over and have a harry coniption. She didn't, but Carrie called her and most likely didn't help things out much. So, they danced a bit and then Carrie left. Andrew made us Itchi-ban noodles, which were good, and sang to us while we ate. My tummy was real jibbly, but I didn't really pay attention to it. Robin and he danced some more and then he drove us home. I sat around, on the computer (of course), and then mom went to bed. I followed soon after, or so I thought. While I was still upstairs with an even jibblier tummy, I saw and tasted my noodles again. Yuck! I haven't puked in forever, it was not an experience I want to repeat. So I took some drugs and went downstairs. I wrote a poem (below) and made many trips to the bathroom. I tried sleeping and failed miserably. So I watched some movies which I can't remember right now. At about 5am, I decided that my tummy was stable enough to try and sleep again, or in my case, finally. So I went to bed, got nice and warm and then cold and warm again (good ol' flu) and closed my eyes. Next thing I knew it was time to get up.
Thankfully I didn't have to work and slept in a little bit. We were leaving for Calgary and J&D told mom and I to be ready for "a bit after lunch". So we waited. And waited. I was too shaky and jibbly to bother with a shower, even though I felt real sickly. After a couple hours I said, "Man I could've taken like three showers by now!" Of course, they took long as always. When they finally came (2pmish) we packed up the van and were off. The boys were fighting and crying before we even got on to the highway and it all went downhill from there. By the time we got to St. Walburg, we had a blown-out tire. So we sat there for a bit while Dwayne looked around for a cheap spare and changed it. Phil called saying dad had cancelled their hotel room and told them they were staying at Aunty Kathy's. Boy, did that set tempers off! Good times. Dwayne called the hotel and found out it hadn't actually happened, that dad was just being a jerk. Or himself I guess. So we drove to Lloyd and Dwayne got better tires so we didn't have to drive 90 the whole way. We went to "the Walmart" and I got new shoes since I didn't think it would be appropriate to wear sneakers to another funeral. We went to Tim Horton's and took forever and a day because they're stupid and should probably be shot...in the big toe. By the time we left Lloyd it was nearly 8pm. Yup. 6 hours from Meadow to Lloyd. Yay.
After that things were much smoother. The boys and I (including Dwayne) watched most of Narnia. It was funny because Dwayne kept putting his arm around me to bug Jenn. We finally got to Calgary after midnight and mom and I stayed with J&D so we didn't have to wake people up at Kathy's. That was...fun?...no. After we all got settled down, apparently mom sounded like a goose with a sinus infection. All but Jenn slept through it. And at 3-3:30 I had a lovely coughing fit. I got an extra pillow out of it, so I can't complain much, especially since I didn't know I was coughing in real life until mom told me to get a drink. I was having quite a good dream through it all too. Oh well. So then we got up, showered (YAY) and went to Kathy's. And thus began the awkward third-wheelness. Its great when you haven't seen your family for over a year and yet you still feel like an outsider. We got the tour of their massive house and I went with dad and Carlos (cousin-in-law) to pick Phil & Lexi up at the airport. I was so happy to see them! (I have to be nice cuz I know you're reading this haha). We went back to the house, after I made sure I could stay at the hotel with them so I wouldn't have to be at Kathy's or a frickin bed & breakfast. We visited upstairs and then got kicked down to Grammie's suite so Tes could clean. Yeah, that was weird, sitting in a room that my Gramma had just died in three days ago. Creepy McCreeperson I tell you what. We worked on flower arrangements and butterfly stick thingy's. That was at least a little bit fun. We went back to the hotel to change for supper and then when to this Chinese restaraunt. Personally, I didn't like it at all. It was just the start of more Dethmer/Metz seclusion. Fun times. We went back to Kathy's to "visit" and work on the picture board. Well Jenn & Lexi worked on it mostly. And they did a really good job. Finishing at midnight and heading back to the hotel was good. No more being ignored for now at least.
I must say, sleeping in Phil & Lexi's room was...interesting. There were times I wished for earmuffs. And blindness. Haha. It was good though overall. We all spent a lot of time talking about how sick my cousins, Arthur & Heather were. They're brother and sister about 5 years apart. Yet, if you didn't know them, you'd think they were almost married! It was really gross. You could say they were very "fondle" of each other. *barf* The worst part was he had his girlfriend with him the entire time!
Okay, wake up, get dressed, do your hair, eat breakfast, go to the church an hour before the funeral starts, sit in a back room basically by yourselves (the Metz siblings anyways), and make fun of your family. Check. Listen to an old geizer pray for ten minutes before we are "processioned" into the sanctuary which is filled with old people you've never met. Check. Sit in a freezing room and listen to the old geizer talk about your Grampa more than about your Gramma. Check. Come on! He's been dead a year, lets focus on the most recent one already! Blast! Listen to your cousins and Aunty & Uncle talk/cry for a freakin hour nearly. Check. Get up and forcibly read the poem you wrote. Check. By the way, no tears were shed, only silent anger at the stupidity of this whole service. More people talk, sing, pray forever and a day. Miss Rob and Robin. Freeze some more. Nearly fall asleep. Check. Hear the old guy talk about food and nearly run for the aforementioned. Listen to him pray. Yet again. Check. Processionalize out, while passing the old people who are looking at you funny because you're not crying. Check. Stand around with family, when you really want to attack the food. Listen to half a dozen "Oh your poem was so beautiful, did you write it yourself? It was so meaningful, you really have a gift, I know she would be proud of you. Yadda yadda yadda." Check. Oh, Nicky, you're hungry, here let me help you get some food! Finally! Get some food, sit in a circle with your immediate family, ignored, yet stared at by the old'uns. Check. Become the mother of three with one comment. Check. Feel awkward, leave the kids by themselves. Check. Eat some more, not because you're an emotional eater, but because you just sat through a two and a half hour funeral that was really even about your Grammie at all. Check. Get grossed out by your cousins, condolencedized by more old people. Drop "suttle" hints that its time to get outta here. Check. Finally leave the church. Hallelujah!
Yeah, that was a fun morning-afternoon. Not. Seriously, one of the most impersonal, angering funerals I've ever been to. We head back to the hotel and sleep for about half hour. Get loaded into the van again and go to the Mausoleum for yet another service thing. Put the box in a glass wall filled with other boxes. Take some family pictures because its always a photo shoot with my family. Look around, "chit chat", and go back to the hotel. Jenn tells me to be ready in an hour to go to Kathy's for supper. Okay. Go back to room and visit with Tim & P&L. I hear the Voth's in the hall and think they're coming to get me. After awhile, I no longer hear them and go looking at T&C's for them. "Are they here?" "No they just left." Great. So, I rush down the stairs and look in vain for their van. Gone. Excellent. I have to intrude on T&C and P&L's supper plans. We drive around looking for a restaruant, on the right side of the road, and end up at BP's; even though Nicky "just wanted to go to Hooters!" hahahahaha. Its not about owls, Nick. We get seated and order and wait. And wait. Nick & Tim go to the bathroom and I take Shanna as they're getting back. What I missed was Nick getting hip-checked into the corner of a wall by a waitress. I miss all the good stuff. We get back to Nicky laying his head on a bag of ice in Phil's sweater. The story is told and we wait for our food. Apparently the cooks were fighting, "sorry for the wait, the manager is trying to work things out." Great. Our food comes, cold and we eat. Nick's pepperoni was bad and I felt sick from my pizza. After an hour forty five since arrival we finish up and head to Kathy's. Nick's meal was free, and they had the audacity to wonder why Tim didn't leave a tip! DUH! You concussed my nephew! We walk in and see the Dethmers sitting at one table and the Metz's at another in two different rooms. Cuz that really makes you want to eat supper with them hey? I'd take crappy service BP's any day. Oh, and Arthur and Heather cuddling on the couch with her seperating Arthur and his girlfriend. That'll make you want to keep your meal down. Again, not. We sit around and "visit" again. Say goodbye to some people, sit around some more. Then, Heather sits on my dad's lap. GROSS! You're 22 for Peter Paul and Mary's sake! Grow up a bit. *barf again* Finally we head back to the hotel after "it was so good to see you's" and real hearfelt hugs...haha I'm funny. Yay! Sleep! Not remembering that the time has changed for them, I set my alarm for 7:15 so I can be ready to leave a bit after 8. I get dressed and lay back down to wait for Tim & Clare. Oops you fell asleep and its now 8:30! Jump out of bed and open the door to see T&C in the hallway. They had tried to get breakfast an hour ago, also forgetting about the time change. So we all head down and eat some foods. More goodbyes, this time real and heartfelt (seriously). I go with T&C back home.
It was quite enjoyable, everytime I woke up we were somewhere new. I had no idea where we were since we went the Drumheller way to get to Osler where their van was (used a rental). I could've gone pee in Nickleback's hometown, but decided to hold it (bad idea). We order food at the A&W Express and head out. I slept some more and read a bit. We drove through Rosetown and I remembered "Ax of Murder" dramafest. Then on to the Osler Gramma and Grampa's house for supper. That was fun, Clare and I got to vent to Frank & Mary about my weird and annoying family. We left and went to NB and got donuts at Tim's and drove home.
So here I am, venting to you guys. I have to work in less than 9 hours. Yay, so not looking forward to it. I feel like this month has been a waste where work is concerned. I missed a day for one funeral, called in sick once and took bereavment (sp?) leave for 3 more days for another funeral. Last week I only worked one day, which of course had to be the day my Gramma died while I was there. Both people died while I was at work, or I found out about them there anyways. Such good memory making times. People dying, babies pooping on me, eating hairy buffalo meat. Yeah, this month sucked. Hardcore. But I did get to hang out with Robin and Nicole, Lana, Jen Fry and Eryn Cockrum. Dang it I miss you Rob.
On top of it all, when we were in Lloyd, I realized that I had forgotten my anti-depressants at home. Whoohoo, sure to be an emotional weekend I thought, but it really wasn't, except for anger and annoyance. I'm going to sleep now hopefully. Good night.
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