Welcome Boys

Well, I thought I'd say welcome to the people who are reading this. I didn't realize this spot was so popular or whatever. So, hello Jared, Mitch and Morgan. Uh, and Clint if he ever happens upon this blog. I don't think I have to worry about offending any of you, but just so you know, this is just a place for me to uncork the bottle of my range of emotions. I've also got a poetry blog, which you probably've already read (Morgan). I'm hoping that those will be a bit more upbeat and not so depressing. I just hope I remember how to write about happy things. haha.

In other news, church was AMAZING today. I mean, God might've had something to do with it, but I was highly impressed. Was God always this cool? I wish I'd known sooner. Would've saved a lot of trouble. But, God brought me through it because he knew I could handle it. He knew that these past years have and will continue to shape my testimony. I've been told so many times that I will help people deal with the very things I've struggled with. Sure it was encouraging, but I was angry and didn't understand why I had to feel the pain first. Now I know that, if I hadn't gone through all this, how would I be believable to the people I'm supposed to help? I wouldn't be able to say, Ya, I've been there too, if I hadn't. Man God rocks! I just can't begin to explain what a change I feel in my life. It's only been three day, but all it took was prayer. If people say prayer doesn't do anything, they are wrong. I know that prayer does change things. Everything the girls prayed about for me was right on, things only God knew about me. Things only he could get through to me about. Its weird, before, I would almost use my depression as an excuse. Now, I don't even identify myself as having it anymore. God told Eryn to pray that I'd be healed of my depression. She believed and prayed and I believe I was healed. It is no longer a part of me. Can I get an Amen?! AMEN! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! I'm so happy. No more masked happiness, no more forced happiness, just pure, God-sent happiness. I don't even remember what that used to feel like. I don't have to try and remember though, now I know. God never left me all those years. There was still a light of hope shining in the darkness. I gave the darkness permission to close in around me. No longer though. Satan will have no hold over me ever again! I have the authority of Jesus Christ and the power to break the chains he tries to entangle me in. Those chains are like sugar, easily dissolved by the Living water. I'll probably be talking about God a lot more on here and in life, so get used to it. I'm on fire and I never want to lose it. I was so ready to give up, to close my eyes to the light, now I'm so glad I held on just a bit longer. That ladder that was broken, has been restored, and I'm climbing towards the light. No, I'm surrounded by the light. The darkness has been demolished and banished from my life. I'm so excited for the year ahead of me. This is the year! (man I wish I knew that song! haha). I'd really appreciate prayer (I'm such a prayer hog) concerning plans for the fall. Just so you all know, I'm still planning on going to Jerusalem, but feel that now is not the time. I feel called to go to Bible school and dive into God's word. There's so much he has to teach me and I want to soak it up. I feel led towards Bethany, but also to Into His Harvest. I'm not sure where I'll go, but God knows. He will provide the answers and the finances. I would love to go to either of those schools, but I know I need to choose one. I know I just gotta trust God for patience, timing and understanding. I don't want to go back to my old life. I want there to be a noteable change in me. And I want it to stay. I don't want this to be just a spiritual high like after camp or something. I have a peace and reassurance that I've found something solid and concrete on which to build my faith upon. AH! I'm so excited about what God's doing in my life and in my friend's lives! I can't wait to see what He's got in store for me!