Saturday, January 13, 2007

Why? Why do I do this to myself? Why do I spend the majority (sadly) of my time watching romantic movies, reading romance books and writing poems about love and romance? Why, when I have none of that stuff in my life? Girls, why do we do this to ourselves? We get lost in the fantasy on screen, page and print. I am sick of wondering if I'll ever find "true love". Of wondering if there's a guy out there for me, or if I've missed my chance. Mind you, I'm young and have plenty of time to find Mr.Right, but my heart is longing for some reality through all these romantic fantasies. I've found the love of God recently in my life, and it is amazing! God wants to be my Lover, my Fiance, my Husband. And I want him to be that, but I also want to feel love from a man. I'm not saying I'm gonna go out and have sex with the next guy I see, (ever sick), but waiting is wearying. I want to have those special glances and touches, the words meant for only me, the little notes I find after a beautiful evening. I want to be pursued, fought for, to share my beauty, to play an irreplaceable role. By the way, I just finished reading Captivating by John & Stasi Eldridge, so I might bring that stuff up a bit. It was an amazing book that taught me a lot of things. Mainly about healing wounds, no longer believing the lies I tell myself, claiming a beauty to share, and being needed as a woman.
*Sigh* I just want to be loved and to have my Question answered. Is that too much to ask?

1 comment:

hazelangel44 said...

i know what you mean...it's that inner clock and it's hard to control feelings of wanting to have the guy of your dreams and fall in love. i wish the media didn't pump happily after after so hardcore..it really effects us.